'The Power of Women', Dr Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

Rating: 7.5/10

Overall Thoughts

A book which truly celebrates women.  Suitable read for women of all ages, particularly those who are discovering themselves and seeking self-improvement.  Insightful, practical and inspiring; this book is the perfect reminder that every woman deserves to recognize and claim her many strengths so that she can capitalize on the power that is within her.

Summary of 'The Power of Women'

1. The Self-Help Revolution: What Women Do Right

• Women have mental strengths - they focus on getting things done, not just on doing things their way.  
• Women have identity strengths that allow them to maintain a strong sense of themselves and their values in whatever situations they find themselves.  They can deal with change and uncertainty, because their sense of themselves is not dependent on what they do or have, but who they are.  
• Women have emotional strengths - the ability to understand their own feelings and those of others, and to use this understanding to cope with distressing circumstances.  
• Women have relational strengths - understanding others' perspectives, which then helps women create strong social networks that support them during stressful times.  

2. Genius Redefined: Understanding Women's Mental Strengths

• Women find many pathways to accomplish their goals; they are neither conformist nor rigid.  They take whatever resources are at their disposal and use them to solve problems and create a fulfilling life.  
• Women are goal-oriented.  They work toward getting a job done, rather than getting their way.  
• Women tend to enlist other people's help, expertise and ingenuity rather than insisting on doing everything themselves.  
• Women never say never - they remain optimistic that obstacles can be overcome.  

3. Resilient Selves: Understanding Women's Identity Strengths

• Women exhibit a strong, stable sense of self that isn't dependent on the circumstances in which they find themselves.  Instead, women maintain a core sense of self, even when the external circumstances of their lives change drastically.  
• Women create identities based on social context rather than social status, connecting to others in ways that bring meaning to their lives, expand their knowledge base and perspectives, and foster a broad network of care in times of need.  
• Women build lives made of multiple roles.  They recognize the importance of balancing relationships and work  As a result, they find myriad avenues for self-expression and social support, making them less vulnerable when things go wrong in one part of their life.  

4. Emotions as Tools: Understanding Women's Emotional Strengths

• Women are excellent readers of others' emotions.  They tune in to how others are feeling and respond with care.  
• Women understand how they are feeling and what triggers their emotions.  They are aware of their moods and how they affect their behaviours and actions.  
• Women know how to express their emotions, choosing the right time to approach and assert to others how they are feeling.  
• Women are able to "hang in" during times of distress, giving others the room to express their emotions and then finding ways to turn those feelings into productive actions.  
• Women are experts at stepping back from upsetting situations, managing their emotional responses in order to pursue the outcome they want.  

5. Valuable Links: Understanding Women's Relational Strengths

• Women are able to deeply understand the perspective of others, their viewpoints, concerns and feelings.  As a result, they are able to respond emphatically to others, anticipate their needs and desires, and reveal a forgiving attitude toward those who have wronged them.  
• Women listen to others, letting them express their point of view, trying to hear and understand them instead of drowning out others with their own opinions.  
• Women are patient and tolerant, able to wait while others find a way to get where they want to be (or should be).  
• Women know when to put others' needs first, and are altruistic in understated as well as daring way.  

6. Building Your Personal Fitness Program

• Ask yourself 3 simple questions anytime you are not feeling strong: (1) When and where do I run into trouble? (2) What is my positive image for change? (3) What small steps can I take toward that change?
• Imagining a positive outcome to the change you want to make is a great motivator.  It's also important to make that positive outcome realistic.  

7. Cultivating Genius: Building Your Mental Strengths

• To overcome obstacles, break them down into their smaller parts then generate small actions you could take to overcome those small components of the obstacle.  
• If you are having trouble seeing ways to accomplish your goal, step back and ask yourself, "What's really important to me in this situation?"  
• Use the following questions to evaluate whether you are good at focusing on getting the job done even if you don't get your way, or you get stuck wanting people to see that your way is the best way: How easy or difficult was it for you to cooperate with others?  How easy was it to accept that your idea didn't get chosen?  How much conflict was there between you and the other people involved?  
• Commit yourself to being a person who builds other people's skills and builds cooperative teams rather than a person focused on getting her own way.  
• For those who don't ask for the help you need because you don't want to impose on others, do it anyway.  You need to force yourself to ask for help, first in small ways, then in increasingly large ways.  By doing so, you will discover that the consequences are not as terrible as you imagined.  
• As you think about a discouraging situation you face, imagine yourself behaving as if you are optimistic about the outcome.  Play through the scenario in as much detail as possible.  When you have a picture of yourself as the "optimistic you", answer the following questions: (1) How would you act?  What would you do first, then next, and so on?  Be as specific as possible.  (2) What choices would you make?  (3) Whom would you choose to interact with?  Is there anyone in your life you would avoid, perhaps because he or she is a source of discouragement?  (4) What would you tell yourself to remain optimistic?  

8. Multiplying Adaptability: Building Your Identity Strengths

• Women have a core sense of self that is stable but adaptable to various circumstances.  You need to uncover an independent core sense of self so that your identity is not left to the whims of external circumstances. 
• Women define themselves in relation to their social connections with other people that they don't have a separate identity outside those relationships.  By ensuring that your identity is defined by yourself rather than your loved ones, you will likely improve your relationship with them.  
• Women's identities are multifaceted, based on several roles rather than one fixed role.  Do you have intellectual, artistic or humanitarian interests that are not being expressed in any of your roles?  Are there new kinds or relationships you would like to have?  If you haven't pursued a role that appeals to you because you haven't felt you had the time, think about how you might be able to cut down on the things you are currently doing to open up the time you need.  

9. Sharpening Emotional Attunement: Building Your Emotional Strengths

• Learn to perceive others' feelings.  Women are expert at perceiving and tuning into other people's feelings.  
• Learn to understand your own emotions.  Women understand their own emotions and the sources of these emotions.  
• Learn to express your emotions.  Women know how and when to express their emotions.  By holding your emotions inside, you may cause the other person to misunderstand you or prevent him or her from knowing that a situation is edging to the point of distress.  When you do try to express your feelings, use assertive language.  If possible, tell the other person how you would like things to change.  
• Learn to tolerate distress.  Women can tolerate distress and are thus better equipped to alleviate it.  Accept that you are upset by the stressful situation and that this is a normal reaction to stress.  Now you must choose to deal with that distress rather than flee from it.  Finally, try to switch your focus from your body and its reactions to what is happening in your environment.  Often we get so consumed by our feelings and thoughts of distress that we become unaware of what other people are saying or what is going on.  
• Learn to manage your feelings.  Women excel at managing their feelings.    Get into the habit of asking yourself, when you are feeling upset, "how am I interpreting this situation?"  Then ask yourself, "what is another way of looking at this situation?"  Another powerful tool for managing your feelings is to learn to take a problem-solving approach.  If you can keep focused on solving the crisis rather than on how upsetting it is, you will be able to draw out people's creativity and cooperation to address the situation.  

10. Connecting More Effectively: Building Your Relational Strengths

• Learn to be emphatic.  People who are able to put aside their own perspective momentarily, who do not assume that others see things the way they do, are better able to anticipate and respond to others' needs and concerns.  Was he driven by some outside constraints that caused him to act has he did?  What goals might he have had that led him to act as he did?  Being able to to take another's perspective does not mean you have to allow that person to "win" or accept how the person has acted toward you.  Instead, it allows you to respond more consciously and effectively to that behaviour, for your own benefit.  
• Learn to listen to others.  Try to find out in what situations you tend to listen well and in what situations you don't listen well.  If you are constantly forcing your opinion or just talking over others, there can be negative consequences to your relationship with others, to their desire to listen to anything you say, and to their development of independence and confidence.  
• Learn to be patient.  Why are you always in such a hurry?  This is the question you should ask yourself if you find you are an impatient person.  If you simply want everything to be done faster than it tends to get done, then you need to check your own priorities and expectations.  
• Learn to put others first, when appropriate.  Ask yourself, is there anything I would like to be doing in my life right now that I'm not doing because I am putting others' needs first?  How much do I value my interests that I am giving up?  How much do I value what I am doing instead of pursuing my interests?  If these valuations are equal, or you value what you are doing even more than what you are giving up, your values appear to be in balance and you probably are appropriately putting others' needs first.  If it pains you greatly to think about what you are giving up relative to what you are getting in return, then you may be putting others' needs before your own to an unhealthy degree.  

11. Leading Like a Woman

• If you are not optimistic about your leadership abilities, start by identifying ways you are discouraging yourself with the thoughts that run in the back of your mind.  Then counter those thoughts by banishing them or generating alternatives to them.  
• Every woman has the right to choose not to be a leader, but no woman should feel she doesn't have the right to be a leader.  
• If a new role as leader is creating an imbalance in your life by taking up all your time and energy, evaluate which of your other roles you aren't willing to give up and make a concrete plan for creating more balance in your life.  If there is imbalance between how much you are putting your own needs first or others' needs first, reaffirm the values and goals that led you to this leadership position, and then make a plan for how you are going to balance those values and goals with others' needs.  
• Building your own emotional strengths to become a good leader primarily involves first tuning in.  You can tune in to the emotions that others are expressing by being quiet and attentive more often, and learn the links between subtle cues such as facial expressions and body postures and the emotions they convey.  You can tune into your own emotions by keeping track of the thoughts that run behind them.  This will give you a better understanding of why you overreact or underreact in certain situations.  
• You need to make choices about how you are going to respond to the emotions of others and your own emotions.  Learning assertive ways of expressing your emotions and responding to the emotions of others builds honesty and trust in organizations.  Developing new strategies for managing when you are upset makes you feel more in control in any situation in life, including leadership situations.  

12. Parenting Like a Woman

• By being emotionally expressive, tuning into their children's emotions and channeling these emotions in appropriate ways, mothers help their children grow to be emotionally intelligent themselves.  
• When children see their parents making positive changes in themselves by improving their mental, identity, emotional and relational strengths, children can be inspired to make positive changes as well.  

13. Loving Like a Woman

• We're more likely to bring out our partners best self, his ideal form, if we have a vision of his best self that corresponds to his vision for himself.  
• Too often when we want to change our relationships, we focus only on what's wrong with them, specifically what is wrong with the other person.  We think that by complaining about his or her behaviour, or punishing it in some way, we will stop it.  But most often our complaining and hostility only creates resistance and resentment.  We are much more likely to change our relationships, and bring our the best in our partners, if we commit to using and improving our mental, identity, emotional, and relational strengths to change our own behaviour in the relationship.  

14. Aging Like a Woman

• Women's many strengths are the reason they can go through many hardships and tragedies that aging can bring, and not only maintain a positive sense of themselves and their lives, but often grow and blossom as a result of the experience.  

'How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job', Dale Carnegie

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Thoughts

Part One is essentially from Carnegie's book 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' whilst Parts Two, Three and Four are from 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'.  So if you have read either one of those books, this book will be relatively useless.  It is basically a condensed version of both books.  However if you have read neither, I do recommend picking up a copy of this book.

As I mentioned in one of my previous reviews, while 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' is well-researched and documented, some of the advice/tactics may come across as too manipulative to be applied ethically.  Religiously following the advice/tactics in Parts Two, Three and Four may possibly do more harm than good in the long run.   

Summary of 'How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job'

Part One: Seven Ways to Peace and Happiness

1) Find Yourself and Be Yourself: Remember, There Is No One Else on Earth like You

• To cultivate a mental attitude that will bring us peace and freedom, remember not to imitate others.  

2) Four Good Working Habits That Will Help Prevent Fatigue and Worry

• Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.  
• Do things in the order of their importance.  
• When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.  Don't keep putting off decisions.  
• Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.  

3) What Makes You Tired and What You Can Do About It

• Worry, tenseness and emotional upsets are three of the biggest causes of fatigue.  Learn to relax while you are doing your work.  
• Work, as much as possible, in a comfortable position.  Remember that tensions on the body produces aching shoulders and nervous fatigue.  
• Check yourself four or five times a day, and say to yourself, "Am I making my work harder than it actually is?  Am I using muscles that have nothing to do with the work that I am doing?" 
• Test yourself at the end of the day, by asking yourself, "Just how tired am I?  If I am tired, it is not because of the mental work I have done but the way I have done it."  

4) How to Banish the Boredom That Produces Fatigue, Worry, and Resentment

• Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment.  We rarely get tired when we are doing something interesting and exciting.  
• If you act "as if" you are interested in your job, that bit of acting will tend to make your interest real.  It will also tend to decrease your fatigue, your tensions, and your worries.  
• By talking to yourself every hour of the day, you can direct yourself to think thoughts of courage and happiness, thoughts of power and peace.  
• By thinking the right thoughts, you can make any job less distasteful.  Keep reminding yourself that getting interested in your job will take your mind off your worries, and, in the long run, will probably bring promotion and increased pay.  Even if it doesn't do that, it will reduce fatigue to a minimum and help you enjoy your hours of leisure.  

5) Would You Take a Million Dollars for What You Have?

• About 90 per cent of the things in our lives are right and about 10 per cent are wrong.  If we want to be happy, all we have to do is concentrate on the 90 per cent that are right and ignore the 10 per cent that are wrong.  
• There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it.  Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.  
• Count you blessings, not your troubles.  

6) Remember That No One Ever Kicks a Dead Dog

• When you are kicked and criticized, remember that it is often done because it gives the kicker a feeling of importance.  It often means you are accomplishing something and are worthy of attention.  Many people get a sense of savage satisfaction out of denouncing those who are better educated than they are or more successful.  
• Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.  

7) Do This and Criticism Can't Hurt You

• Never be bothered by what people say, as long as you know in your heart you are right.  

Part Two: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

8) "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"

• 99 times out of 100, people don't criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.  Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.  
• Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them.  Let's try to figure out why they do what they do.  That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.  

9) The Big Secret of Dealing with People

• Give honest and sincere appreciation.  
• Appreciation is sincere whilst flattery is insincere.  One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out.  One is unselfish; the other selfish.  One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.  
• In the long run, flattery will do you more harm than good.  Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else.  

10) "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him.  He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way."

• Arouse in the other person an eager want.  
• Before you want to persuade somebody to do something, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?"  
• If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own.  

11) Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere

• Become genuinely interested in other people.  
• If we want to make friends, let's put ourselves out to do things for other people - things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.  
• If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind.  

12) How to Make People Like You Instantly

• Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.  
• How? When? Where?  The answer is: All the time, everywhere.  
• The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in a subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.  

Part Three: Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

13) A Sure Way of Making Enemies and How to Avoid It

• Show respect for the other person's opinions; never begin by announcing "I am going to prove so-and-so to you."  That's tantamount to saying "I'm smarter than you are.  I'm going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your mind."  It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start.  
• If you are going to prove anything, don't let anybody know it.  Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel you are doing it.  
• You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.  That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just and fair and open and broad-minded as you are.  It will make him want to admit that, he, too, may be wrong.  

14) The High Road to Reason

• Begin in a friendly way. 
• Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don't want to change their minds.  They can't be forced or driven to agree with you or me.  But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.  

15) The Secret of Socrates

• In talking with people, don't begin by discussing the things on which you differ.  Begin by emphasizing - and keep on emphasizing - the things on which you agree.  Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.  
• The more "Yeses" we can, at the very outset, induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.  
• It doesn't pay to argue; it is much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person's viewpoint and try to get that person saying 'yes, yes'.  

16) How to Get Cooperation

• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.  
• It is wiser to make suggestions and let the other person think about the conclusion, rather than trying to ram your opinions down the throats of other people.  

17) An Appeal That Everybody Likes

• All people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation.  
• All of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good.  So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.  

Part Four: Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

18) How to Criticize and Not Be Hated for It

• Calling attention to one's mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.  

19) Talk About Your Own Mistakes First

• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.  Admitting one's own mistakes - even when one hasn't corrected them - can help convince somebody to change his behaviour.  

20) No One Likes to Take Orders

• Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask.  People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.

21) Let the Other Person Save Face

• Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face.  

'The Art of Thinking Clearly', Rolf Dobelli

Rating: 3/10

Overall Thoughts

The Art of Thinking Clearly?  International bestseller?  I don't think so.  Alas, I fell victim to the phrase 'never judge a book by its cover'; clearly the seemingly attractive front cover gave this book an aura of credibility it does not deserve.  The title itself is misleading since this is not a self-help book containing advise on 'clear thinking'.

This book consists of 99 short chapters which mainly discusses psychological findings of other individuals/sources and comprises of illustrations which are primarily related to the medical or investment/business industry, which is clearly not relatable to most people, myself included.   Further, 3 pages per chapter is barely sufficient to critically discuss a concept/subject.  This book lacks  central argument, and is essentially a list of cognitive biases with bare descriptions.

Instead of helping me shape my thinking and decision-making process, this book has done the exact opposite.  Truth be told, I did not take away any useful information/tips from this book.  It was a definite struggle to actually finish the entire book.

Summary of 'The Art of Thinking Clearly'

• In daily life, because triumph is made more visible than failure, people systematically overestimate their chances of succeeding.  Guard against it by frequently visiting the graves of once promising projects, investments and careers.  
• Rational decision making requires you to forget about the costs incurred to date.  No matter how much you have already invested, only your assessment of the future costs and benefits counts.  
• Whenever you hear a story, ask yourself: Who is the sender, what are his intentions, and what did he hide under the rug?  The real issue with stories: They give us a false sense of understanding, which inevitably leads us to take bigger risks and urges us to take a stroll on thin ice.  
• Do you have everything under control?  Probably less than you think.  Focus on the few things of importance that you can really influence.  For everything else: Que sera, sera.  
• If you want to convince someone about something, don't focus on the advantages; instead highlight how it helps them dodge the disadvantages.  
• Forget trying to amass all the data.  Do your best to get by with the bare facts.  It will help you make better decisions.  Superfluous knowledge is worthless, whether you know it or not.  
• Raise expectations for yourself and for the people you love.  This increases motivation.  At the same time, lower expectations for things you cannot control.  
• We make complex decisions by consulting our feelings, not our thoughts.  Against our best intentions, we substitute the question. "What do I think about this?" with "How do I feel about this?"  
• First and last impressions dominate, meaning the content sandwiched between has only a weak influence.  Try to avoid evaluations based on first impressions.  Try to assess all aspects impartially.  
• When do you listen to your head and when do you heed your gut?  A rule of thumb might be: If it is something to do with practical activities, such as motor skills or questions you've answered a thousand times, it's better not to reflect to the last detail.  It undermines your intuitive ability to solve problems.  

'Kafka on the Shore', Haruki Murakami

Rating: 7/10

Overall Thoughts

'Kafka on the Shore' hinges on the boundaries of what exists around the characters versus what exists in their minds.  The story follows a damaged fifteen year-old boy named Kafka Tamura who runs away from home and eventually finds shelter in a privately owned public library in Takamatsu, as well as an illiterate old-man named Nakata whose mind was entirely erased as a child due to a mysterious event which occurred during World War II.  One person is running away from something, the other searching; one looking forward, the other looking back; one with a bright future, the other with a dark past.  Two very different individuals, yet their fates are somehow intertwined in their journey of self-discovery.  

Murakami definitely has a wonderfully strange and unique storytelling ability.  Reading this novel left me with a lot of unanswered questions (in a good way).  The flow of the storyline is made up of a patchwork of unrelated scenes and conversations - some brutal, some chaotic, and others beautiful -  which is loosely tied together at the end.  You would have to read one of his novels to fully appreciate his talent. 

Favourites from 'Kafka on the Shore'

"I felt utterly alone, like I was the last person alive on Earth.  I can't describe that feeling of total loneliness.  I just wanted to disappear into thin air and not think about anything."  

"You're going to be okay, I tell myself, taking a deep breath.  All you can do is forge on ahead."  

"All I know is I'm totally alone.  Alone in an unfamiliar place, like some solitary explorer who's lost his compass and his map.  Is this what it means to be free?"

"I remember her smell, her touch, but not her face."  

"... it feels like everything's been decided in advance - that I'm following a path somebody else has already mapped out for me.  It doesn't matter how much I think things over, how much effort I put into it.  In fact, the harder I try, the more I lose sense of who I am."  

"Man doesn't choose fate.  Fate chooses man."  

"She's so perfect I know she can't be real.  She's like a person who stepped right out of a dream."  

"The darkness in the outside world has vanished, but the darkness in our hearts remains, virtually unchanged.  Just like an iceberg, what we label the ego or consciousness is, for the most part, sunk in darkness."  

"As long as there's such a thing as time, everybody's damaged in the end, changed into something else."  

"If she never came back everything would be lost to me forever.  All meaning, all direction.  Everything.  I know this, but I go ahead and risk it anyway, and call her name."  

"There's a void inside me, a blank that's slowly expanding, devouring what's left of who I am.  I can hear it happening.  I'm totally lost, my identity dying,"  

"Memories warm you up from the inside.  But they also tear you apart."  

"If you remember me, then I don't care if anyone else forgets."  

"Time weighs down on you like an old, ambiguous dream.  You keep on moving, trying to slip through it.  But even if you go to the ends of the earth, you won't be able to escape it.  Still, you have to go there - to the edge of the world.  There's something you can't do unless you get there."  

'How to Win Friends and Influence People', Dale Carnegie

Rating: 7/10

Overall Thoughts

This book is not just for socially awkward individuals.  The content of this book is aimed at helping  readers increase skills in human relations by changing our perception towards the people around us, whilst teaching us how to see and judge others.  'How to Win Friends and Influence People' is packed with advice that has carried numerous famous and successful people throughout history up the ladder of success in their personal and business lives.

While this book is well-researched and documented, some of the advice/tactics may come across as too manipulative to be applied ethically.  Majority of the examples and stories included in the book are essentially illustrating how to apply these advice/tactics for financial and political gain, instead of teaching us to become better human beings and foster real friendships with others.  In that sense, I personally think that religiously following these advice/tactics may possibly do more harm than good in the long run.

Summary of 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn or complain 

• By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.  
• When dealing with people, remember we are not dealing with creative creatures of logic.  We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.  
• Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them.  Lets try to figure out why they do what they do.  That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.  

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

• Appreciation is sincere whilst flattery is insincere.  One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out.  One is unselfish; the other selfish.  One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.  
• In the long run, flattery will do you more harm than good.  Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else.  

Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

• Before you want to persuade somebody to do something, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?"  
• If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own.  

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people

• If we want to make friends, let's put ourselves out to do things for other people - things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.  
• If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind.  

Principle 2: Smile

• Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you.  You make me happy.  I am glad to see you."  
• Everybody in the world is seeking happiness - and there is one sure way to find it.  That is by controlling your thoughts.  Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions.  It depends on inward conditions.  It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.  It is what you think about it.  

Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

• Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment.  But forget it or misspell it, and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.  

Principle 4: Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves

• People who talk about themselves think only of themselves.  
• If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.  To be interesting, be interested.  Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering.  Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.  

Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests

Principle 6: Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

• How? When? Where?  The answer is: All the time, everywhere.  
• The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in a subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.  

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

• Welcome the disagreement.  Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.  
• Distrust your first instinctive impression, which is to be defensive.  Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction.  It may be you at your worst, not your best.  
• Control your temper.  
• Listen first.  Give your opponents a chance to talk.  Let them finish.  Do not resist, defend or debate.  Try to build bridges of understanding.  Don't build high barriers of misunderstanding.  
• Look for areas of agreement.  
• Be honest.  Apologize for your mistakes.  
• Promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study them carefully.  And mean it.  Your opponents may be right.  
• Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.  Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.  
• Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.  

Principle 2: Show respect for the other person's opinions; never say, "you're wrong"

• Never begin by announcing "I am going to prove so-and-so to you."  That's tantamount to saying "I'm smarter than you are.  I'm going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your mind."  It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start.  
• If you are going to prove anything, don't let anybody know it.  Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel you are doing it.  
• You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.  That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just and fair and open and broad-minded as you are.  It will make him want to admit that, he, too, may be wrong.  

Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically 

• There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors.  It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.  
• When we are right, let's try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong - and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let's admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.  

Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way

• Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don't want to change their minds.  They can't be forced or driven to agree with you or me.  But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.  

Principle 5: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately

• In talking with people, don't begin by discussing the things on which you differ.  Begin by emphasizing - and keep on emphasizing - the things on which you agree.  Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.  
• The more "Yeses" we can, at the very outset, induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.  
• It doesn't pay to argue; it is much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person's viewpoint and try to get that person saying 'yes, yes'.  

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

• Let the other person talk themselves out.  They know more about their business and problems than you do.  Ask them questions and let them tell you a few things.  If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt.  But don't.  They won't pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.  So listen patiently and with an open mind.  Be sincere about it.  Encourage them to express their ideas fully.  

Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

• It is wiser to make suggestions and let the other person think about the conclusion, rather than trying to ram your opinions down the throats of other people.  

Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

• Other people may be totally wrong, but they don't think so.  Don't condemn them.  Try to understand them.  Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that.  
• If you say to yourself, "How would I feel,  how would I react if I were in his shoes?" you will save yourself time and irritation, for "by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect."  

Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires

Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives

• All people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish  in their own estimation.  
• All of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good.  So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.  

Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas

• Merely stating a truth isn't enough.  The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.  You have to use showmanship.  The movies do it.  Television does it.  And you will have to do it  if you want attention.  

Principle 12: Throw down a challenge

• The way to get things done is to stimulate competition, that is, the desire to excel.  
• That is what every successful person loves: the game.  The chance for self-expression.  The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win.  The desire for a feeling of importance.  

Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Principle 2: Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly

• Calling attention to one's mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.  

Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

• Admitting one's own mistakes - even when one hasn't corrected them - can help convince somebody to change his behaviour.  

Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

• Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask.  People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.  

Principle 5: Let the other person save face

• Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face.  

Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement; be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"

• Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere - not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.  
• We all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it.  But nobody wants insincerity.  Nobody wants flattery.  

Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

• If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.  

Principle 8: Use encouragement; make the fault seem easy to correct

• Be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an underdeveloped flair for it.  

Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

• Be sincere.  Don't promise anything that you cannot deliver.  Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.  
• Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.  
• Be empathetic.  Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.  
• Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.  
• Match those benefits to the other person's wants.  
• When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.  

'Paracosm', Arina

Rating: 6/10

Overall Thoughts

A book which highlights feelings of isolation, discrimination, and growing up being seen but not heard, 'Paracosm' is an honest, original and whimsical compilation of poetry and personal thoughts. 

Through her writing, the young poet beautifully describes her complex and heartfelt relationship with her surroundings and happenings of the world.  The beautiful visual art contained in the book is also something to admire and appreciate. 

***

After doing some research on the author, it was brought to my attention that the proceeds of sales from 'Paracosm' will be channeled to the Tun Suffian Foundation which awards scholarships to underprivileged high achievers in local and foreign universities.  The author has a wonderful cause to serve, so grab a copy of this book to show some support!

Favourites from 'Paracosm'

Crowns

Perhaps the crown I wear 

Is a little old fashioned. 

With withered silver leaves

And wilted gold lilies

There are no diamonds

Or rubies.  

While others wear

A crown of garnets

And jewels

Mine is an antique

Of ancient legend

With the stories of my ancestors

Now leaving me

To find my own story.  

Because I am the ink

On these pages

And the inspiration 

Of my own legend. 

......

Failure

Without failure, you are no hero.

......

Dignity

Let others admire your beauty

as you preserve your dignity.

......

The Descendants of Tradition

For who we are

The ungrateful offsprings

Of our deceitful ancestors

Are we condemned

To follow their traditions and ways?

A narrow river

Has a shallow floor

A deep ocean

Will offer wonders which you must explore.  

Because those you descend from the Sun

That does not make you a star

You choose your natural state

And be who you are.  

......

Listening Ear

I cannot talk to anyone

because no one wants to listen, 

nobody knows anything about me.  

......

Open Colours

Why do you see the surface

But not what is within

Your eyes are unfair judges

They are mirrors filled with sin

Dark colours displease them

Dark colours and strange religions

No cloud is the same shape

No garden has the same flowers

Yet they glow with beauty

They glow with pride

Beneath the skin

Same structures of bone 

No matter who tries to destroy you

Know

That you will never fight alone.  

......

Genesis

Manners make a man

But passion makes a woman.

......

Windows to the Soul

The eyes are windows to the soul

Showing expression

None would have known.  

They can be dark

They can be light

The dark to immortalise beauty

The light to soothe the soul of another.  

The cheeks, soft and white

Tinted rosy

Smooth gleaming light.  

The lips

To touch another's

Expressing eternal love

Red as blood

Curved like cupid's bow.  

Then the beauty curve

The frames the pearl teeth

A beautiful red curve

That is the finishing touch

Of every art.  

......

Fire and Flame

The sirens will tell their children

Of the legendary girl

Who was once not more than a slave

Now 

Her name is known by the world.  

She was enslaved by her own fate

Growing in the poverty of compassion

Lost in a labyrinth of trepidation.  

As her heart grew

So did her beauty

For her eyes were compasses

And her mind was the galaxies.  

Powers of ice and flame embraced her

She was the religion of the mountains

A leader of gold and silver.  

And all genuflected to her

As she walked with pride and elegance

A hero has come

They praised

And she need not be born

Of fire and flame.  

......

Unbearable

No one can feel how heavy my heart is, 

how each beat makes it more unbearable.  

......

Individual Deeds

Sometimes the world is saved by only one good heart, 

not a million strong arms.  

'Questions to Our Answers', Timothy Joshua

Rating: 8/10

Overall Thoughts

Overjoyed to have stumbled upon this beautiful book written by a talented Singaporean.  Definitely exceeded my expectations.  Perfect read on a rainy day with a cup of coffee/tea. 

FYI: Pretty sure I'm not the only reader who has noticed this, but there is a typo on page 150 of the book (and it's really bugging me).  

Favourites from 'Questions to Our Answers'

First

The day we first met each other, 

I couldn't help but feel

like it was intended, 

like we were destined, 

to collide

like waves must meet the shore, 

and rain must fall on the Earth - 

we could't help but fall

for each other, 

the day we first met.  

......

Knowing You

See, the difference lies in the fact

that some people think

they know you well enough

moments after you've just met, 

as if it was like the movies.  

But I've never stopped wishing

that I could know you better, 

the moment our eyes met.  

Instead of being a movie that ends, 

it is like an endless trilogy of books.  

I keep wanting to read more, 

page by page until the very end - 

knowing that books were always 

better than their movies, 

and so was knowing you.  

......

Fallen

I don't blame you for falling for someone else, 

I always knew that I wouldn't be enough, 

but I just never expected

that you could forget me so quickly.  

I had barely fallen for you, 

and you were gone

before I could even get back on my feet.  

......

Shooting Star

You are a shooting star.  

I saw you from afar,

cutting across my sky, 

a spectacle, 

blazing bright, 

in the darkness of the night.  

I made a wish, 

hopeful, 

that it could all be true; 

that I could soar alongside you, 

incandescent and alight in the sky.  

But you soon disappeared, 

as quickly as you came, 

as it became clear, 

that you were here, 

but barely here.  

I wasn't wishing, 

I was dreaming, 

and you, 

you, 

are miles and miles away; 

only a shooting star, 

only a hopeful wish.  

If only, you could stay.  

......

The Mathematician

If only we lived in a world without numbers, 

then I won't remember the number of times I've missed you, 

and I won't need to count the days till we meet again.  

Then perhaps, 

I could be your only one, 

the one holding your undivided attention, 

the one accompanying your countless memories.  

The only one you can''t subtract away

in a life filled with far too many numbers.  

......

Ocean Eyes

You drown because

you have always loved too deeply

without learning how to swim, 

and each wave, 

each wave goodbye, 

breaks you, 

as it breaks the shore.  

All that's left of you, 

are tears, 

and your pieces, 

as he leaves with the tide.  

......

Starlight

The light in your eyes

captures all the starlight in our universe.  

And so, I live within; 

an insignificant speck in your eyes.  

......

A Matter of Timing

Barely breathing, 

hardly thinking. 

rarely looking, 

clearly crying.  

I glance at my watch, 

car whizz, 

crowds shift, 

heart beats, 

hope fades, 

I am reaching, 

as you 

leave.  

......

Gravity

I cannot explain

this sense of deep attraction

towards you.  

It is some sort of uncontrollable force, 

inexplicably tying our destinies together.  

Like gravity, we fall towards one another.  

We fall, for one another.  

......

Your Name Here

Your name is a whisper, 

a slight yet painful echo in my ear, 

yet a screaming voice in my head, 

and a resonance of days past.  

It is but a dark secret between my lips, 

a cyanide pill twisted in the tongue, 

the poison I refuse to swallow, 

and yet I know, I must, 

for you, are not here, 

and your name is not mine to say.  

......

The Ring

"Why do you still wear that ring? He is gone." 

He is gone, but he is still here, 

wearing down my skin.  

He is still here, 

wearing the darkest rings on my eyes.  

So yes, I still wear this ring, 

because the truth is, 

what has been, 

will always be here.  

But I will remove it, 

someday, 

when I finally come full circle

and the darkest part of me

is ready to let go

the darkest part of me.  

......

First

It is never easy to understand someone like me.  

But in the end, I wish you would still try.  

I wish you would still try to read me, 

as if I were your first book.  

......

Mathematics

We are simultaneous equations, 

different, 

yet when put together, 

we equate to something more, 

something better than these variables life has given us.  

But the biggest question, 

is if all these Xs and Ys we add or subtract

can ever solve the problem

that we are never the same, 

and that, perhaps, 

we will never feel the same about each other.  

......

The Artist of My Heart

What is love?

I don't know.  I don't think I understand what love truly is, 

nor do I think that anybody can.  It comes in so many shapes

and sizes.  But I do know that somehow, you draw me in.  You

form the lines that shape my boundaries and knowledge of

love.  You define what love means to me, every single day, 

and you colour it with different shades - it brightens when 

you smile, and it darkens when you frown.  And each time, 

when I look into your eyes, I know I don't understand love

still, but I do know, that I am, in fact, deeply in love with you.  

For you, you are the artist of my heart.  

......

Concrete Walls

Though we sit here together

we sit divided

by invisible walls between us, 

as our hopes rebound against them.  

Nothing gets through, 

as I reach my hand out to you, 

I feel the coldness of cement.  

I can feel your walls, 

but I cannot enter.  

I can almost feel the dried tears in your eyes, 

amidst the broken gravels of your heart, 

but I cannot reach out to you.  

Your heart is now concrete.  

......

The Reason to Live

At the end of the day, you have worked so hard, but for

whom and for what?  You question yourself about exactly

what you have been fighting or living for.  You begin to 

hope that there would be someone who cares for you, but

the truth is that there may or may not be anyone.  The only

person you know is going to be there, is yourself.  Trust

yourself.  Love yourself.  And if you are ever so lucky to one

day find someone who loves you and cares for you as much 

at the end of the day, then my God are you blessed.  Hold

on tight, and never let go.  

You now have another reason to live.  

'O's Little Guide to Starting Over', The Editors of O, The Oprah Magazine

Rating: 5/10

Overall Thoughts

A compilation of inspirational short essays.  Perfect quick read for those who are breaking free, rising above and making their way forward.  This book doesn't actually provide guidelines or tips on starting over, rather the writers share their personal struggles and experience on starting back at square one. 

Just like the saying goes, "when one door closes another opens", this book serves as a reminder that what may feel like the end is often just the beginning.  Change is a challenge, but it can also be freeing and healing. 

Favourites From 'O's Little Guide to Starting Over'

Letting Go

• Check in with yourself: Does your life feel meaningful and on-purpose at this moment?  If the answer is yes, your energy is invested in living your best life.  But to the extent that you feel misery, your energy is asking to be reinvested.  Misery literally means "the feeling of being a miser."  If you're miserable, stop hoarding your life energy.  Make a choice, any choice.  If you're still miserable, you can choose again.  Eventually, you'll see that all misery is simply life asking you to trade your current course of action - or inaction - for something purposeful and true.  

Lost and Found

• With change, there is grief for what has been lost, but also opportunity - and the choice of how to see it.  Choose wonderful.  
• The primary difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that the successful people fail more.  If you see failure as a monster stalking you, or one that has already ruined your life, take another look.  That monster can become a benevolent teacher, opening your mind to successes you cannot now imagine.  
• The reality is, we are bound to fail.  By refusing to accept this, we only make things worse.  Conversely, if we own our failure openly, publicly, with genuine regret but absolutely no shame, we reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection - the things we thought we'd get by succeeding.  

A New Day

• You write down each and every stressful thought, and then ask yourself four questions about it: (1) Is it true? (2) Can I absolutely know it's true? (3) How do I react when I believe this thought? (4) Who would I be without the thought?
• All the pain in the world is not going to take happiness and peace away from you.  If anybody can make you angry, you are the loser.  If anyone can steal your happiness, peace, away from you, you are the loser. 

Matters of the Heart

• Death is the ultimate destination, no matter which way I steer.  And I want to live my days worth dying for.  

Ends and Beginnings 

• Unexpected gifts are given when the heart stays open.  
• If you go out there knowing you're going to rock it, you will.  But if you go out there afraid you'll get hurt, you will.  
• However awful the storm of my disappointment, it's a response that belongs to me.  It's my heart, after all.  My territory, my kingdom.  And since I'm the only one with the authority to surrender it, I can also take it back.  The retraction is painful, of course, but it comes in handy when yearning for the wrong someone.  
• I have always held on so tight: to the loss, to the lover, to the love.  But now I saw that grasping - even of dearly held beliefs - causes us and others needless pain.  Everything is constantly flowing and changing.  Nothing and no one lasts.  The best gift we can give ourselves and those we love is to let them be part of the nature of things: the raging river, the growing child, the dying light. 

'A Beautiful Composition of Broken', r.h. Sin

Rating: 9/10

Overall Thoughts

This book is the embodiment of all the pain, sadness and sorrow of people who have been mistreated, misunderstood and are currently going through a breakup.  The author's words will make you feel all sorts of emotions.  His words will dig up all the pain that you've attempted to bury deep within your heart, and comfort you with words of encouragement and self-love.

Thank you to my friends who gifted this wonderful book to me.  This book has now become my bible.  This book has lifted my spirits and I am no longer broken xx.

Favourites from 'A Beautiful Composition of Broken'

everything 7:22.

she is both complex

and easy to love

......

mid-December lesson.

not everyone you love

deserves your patience

not everyone you love

deserves your fight

not everyone you love

deserves your heart

not everyone you love

understands that love

......

the sorrow.

there's nothing more confusing

and painful to a woman

than being told that she's amazing

by a man who treats her like

she's not good enough to commit to

and the saddest part of it all 

is that this woman 

will fight to prove her value

to the one man

who doesn't even deserve her

......

the thought.

i like to think 

that all the pain

and heartache

is simply preparing me 

for a love that heals

......

the further.

you went missing

when i longed for you the most

while my heart didn't grow fonder

my mind grew further

how quickly i went from sadness

to feeling nothing at all

......

the return.

i should hate you

but even then 

that would be way more

than you actually deserve

and so i'll give you nothing 

to match the nothing 

you gave me in return

......

truly.

a man who truly loves you

chooses you every day

he chooses you forever

......

always after midnight.

i'm left rereading old messages

sitting beneath the rubble 

of everything we used to be

haunted, near the moon

by everything we didn't become

......

no solutions.

i wanted to try

i was willing to fight for this

you wanted a way out

you never cared as much as me

......

all the tales we tell.

incapable of facing the painful reality

of a love that's been lost

we lie in the form of false memories

re-creating disaster and chaos

into beautiful moments

that never happened

......

sick day.

give your soul a break

if you're tired of being hurt

just rest awhile

......

March 17th IV.

you're always trying

but who tries for you

you're always fighting

but who fights for you

i hate this idea of everything 

falling upon the shoulders 

of a woman 

while she's in a relationship 

with a man who makes no effort

i hate this idea of a woman 

feeling alone while being

in a relationship

......

cost of communication.

know your worth

and never communicate

reply or respond to anyone

who can't afford to speak to you

or with you

......

8:32.

too often the heart

finds a way to love

the ones who will never

love it back

......

a void.

i felt like a bookstore

with no books on its shelves

a profound emptiness

in my soul

......

knowing you.

who are you when no one is watching

can i trust that person to remain loyal

without my watchful eyes

who are you when my back is turned

can i trust that person to be honest

in my absence

......

further from truth.

amazing isn't it

the way that every lie that gets told

contains just enough truth to seem believable 

but not enough truth to be true

......

ability.

she has the patience to stay

and the strength to move on

......

withdrawn but progressive.

i'm constantly evolving 

i just wish you were involved

and a part of this change

i've been doing this without you

but i'm fine

......

lower.

understand that a woman's love

is something that runs deep

if you're not ready and willing

to reach her depths

don't attempt the dive

don't waste her time

......

when together.

touch her in a way that no one

has done before

stimulate her entire mind

with an abundance of words

and leave an imprint upon her soul

create a long-lasting memory

and become something she'll

never forget

a lasting impression is what 

you should always aim for

appreciate all that she is

and all that she's willing to offer

it's what she deserves

......

to the root.

and they wonder why

you have trust issues

or act as if you don't 

give a fuck

the way you are

the way you love

is a product

of being taken

for granted

......

finis.

it all falls on me

the weight of it all

crushing my spirit

like bone melting iron

i'm breaking down

collapsing completely into

myself

until there's nothing left

but regret

of trying so hard

for someone who couldn't 

try for me

i'm done

......

i feel both entirely.

i am both happy and sad

i feel weak but i am strong

i am broken but i'll be whole

there is hope within pain

there is hope after heartache

and i've felt both of everything

i know that it gets better

......

a refusal, a strength.

i'm finding more of myself

in my journey towards peace

learning to let go of the anger

that once plagued my soul

and altered the direction

of most of my days

i'm finding my voice

beneath the heaviness

of the pain that once caused me

to shut down

refusing to remain silent

about the things that broke me

i refuse to be a prisoner of heartache

......

clarity in mourning.

i tried

you didn't

i loved 

you refused

it was me

and never you

it was you

not wanting me

stuck, searching for you

when all i needed was myself

......

from it, stronger.

the pain will bring you strength

the heartache will give you purpose

......

become it.

the only one worthy of you

is you

in this moment

you only need yourself

become the love

that they refused to share with you

......

read, lover.

books stained with the tears

of the reader with the broken heart

books held tight

like lovers in the dark

sometimes all you have are the words

sometimes all that's left

are the books

......

strangers again, again.

we started as strangers

we ended that way

sometimes the beginning

is the same as the ending

......

potion.

she refused to be anyone's cup of tea

she was more so the finest glass of whiskey

......

January 7th, 8:49p.m.

before i get the chance

to place my hands on your skin

i'd first like the opportunity

for our souls to collide

our minds to be fully stimulated

and our hearts to be in sync

this is the way i'd like to love you

......

January 10th.

this craving to explore

the unfamiliar places within you

has overtaken my mind

i'd like to get lost in you

i'd like the opportunity

to make you feel things

you've never felt for anyone else

......

the slow burning of regret.

i hope the memory of me

burns through your mind

and in times of desperation

i hope you reach for me

then realize that i can no longer

be found

you'll feel what i felt

you'll sit with your face

in your hands

and your heart on the floor

because you lost the greatest thing

to ever happen to you
me...

......

steel curtain.
protect your energy
understand that not everyone
who wants you
deserves you

protect your peace of mind
understand that most people
don't even deserve to be a thought

......

higher up.
you belong to the night
next to the brightest stars
in sync with the moon
above the earth

......

our ending, new beginnings.
i'll be the one
you couldn't keep
i'll be the memory
that hurts the most
i'll be the greatest loss
in your life
i'll be the one
you'll never be able
to come back to

all because i love me more
than you ever could

......

never, nowhere.
if you missed me
you'd show up
if you missed me
you'd be here

......

more than stars.
while the stars
compete for the moon's attention
she is the only light
that i search for in darkness

......

6:29:10.
my mind
a museum of madness
my heart
a museum of pain