'The Definitive Book of Body Language', Allan and Barbara Pease

Rating: 10/10

Overall Thoughts

If you are someone who is about to go for an interview, or someone who is trying to figure out why your employees or co-workers are constantly avoiding you, or someone who wants to improve their social and business skills, or if you are just curious to know more about body language like me, then I definitely recommend picking up a copy of this book.  The simple language used and the illustrations provided makes understanding what the authors are trying to convey with ease.  

Majority of us do not realize just how much our daily physical movements and gestures give away our true intentions.  This book enable readers to gain a better ability in reading peoples' attitudes and emotions through their behaviour.  I fully agree with the authors that understanding how something works makes living with it easier, whereas ignorance and lack of understanding promote fear and superstition and make us more critical of others.  

The Definitive Book of Body Language is split into nineteen chapters, each chapter focusing on specific areas.  The use of sub-headings and sub-sections are definitely a plus point, as you can simply begin reading any page at random.  

Reading this book will teach you how body language reveals emotions and thoughts, how to spot a liar, what your handshake says about you, the power of touch, how not to offend other cultures, the benefits of mirroring, how women and men attract the opposite sex, the secret signals your legs are giving out, keys to making great first impressions, the importance of seating arrangements, and many more valuable information.  

Listed below are some of my takeaways from reading this book:

• The palm-up position indicates a submissive, non-threatening gesture; whereas facing your palm downwards projects authority.   
• False smiles pull back only the mouth, whereas real smiles pull back both the mouth and eyes.  
• Crossing your arms portrays negativity and defensiveness, usually either a hostile attitude or a sense of insecurity exists.  
• The common lying gestures include covering the mouth, touching the nose, rubbing the eyes, grabbing the ears, scratching the neck, pulling the collar, and fingers in the mouth.  
• Our pupils will dilate when we see someone attractive.  
• Contrary to popular belief, most liars will look you in the eye.  
• If a person is remembering something that they saw, their eyes will move upward.  If they are recalling something they heard, they look to the side and tilt their head as if listening.  If they are recalling a feeling or emotion, they'll look down and to the right.  When a person is mentally talking to themselves, they look down and to the left.  
• Open legs indicate openness or dominance, while crossed legs show a closed, submissive, or defensive attitude.  
• Mirroring a person's body language makes them feel accepted and creates a natural bond.  
• Never speak at a faster rate than the other person.  Pacing is critical, so speak at the same rate or slightly slower than the other person.  
• Common female courtship gestures and signals include the head toss and hair flick; wet lips and pouting, mouth slightly open; self-touching; limp wrist; fondling a cylindrical object; exposed writs; sideways glance over raised shoulder; rolling hips; pelvic tilt; handbag in close proximity; knee pointing at the most interesting person; shoe fondling; and leg twine.  
• Strategies for giving you the extra edge: stand up for meetings; sit competitors with their backs to the door; keep your fingers together; keep your elbows out; use power words (discovery, guarantee, love, proven, results, save, easy, health, money, new, safety, you); carry a slim briefcase; and watch their coat buttons - buttoned coats indicate close-mindedness.  

Note: You will be subconsciously reading people and analyzing their behaviour after you are done with this book!