'A Beautiful Composition of Broken', r.h. Sin

Rating: 9/10

Overall Thoughts

This book is the embodiment of all the pain, sadness and sorrow of people who have been mistreated, misunderstood and are currently going through a breakup.  The author's words will make you feel all sorts of emotions.  His words will dig up all the pain that you've attempted to bury deep within your heart, and comfort you with words of encouragement and self-love.

Thank you to my friends who gifted this wonderful book to me.  This book has now become my bible.  This book has lifted my spirits and I am no longer broken xx.

Favourites from 'A Beautiful Composition of Broken'

everything 7:22.

she is both complex

and easy to love

......

mid-December lesson.

not everyone you love

deserves your patience

not everyone you love

deserves your fight

not everyone you love

deserves your heart

not everyone you love

understands that love

......

the sorrow.

there's nothing more confusing

and painful to a woman

than being told that she's amazing

by a man who treats her like

she's not good enough to commit to

and the saddest part of it all 

is that this woman 

will fight to prove her value

to the one man

who doesn't even deserve her

......

the thought.

i like to think 

that all the pain

and heartache

is simply preparing me 

for a love that heals

......

the further.

you went missing

when i longed for you the most

while my heart didn't grow fonder

my mind grew further

how quickly i went from sadness

to feeling nothing at all

......

the return.

i should hate you

but even then 

that would be way more

than you actually deserve

and so i'll give you nothing 

to match the nothing 

you gave me in return

......

truly.

a man who truly loves you

chooses you every day

he chooses you forever

......

always after midnight.

i'm left rereading old messages

sitting beneath the rubble 

of everything we used to be

haunted, near the moon

by everything we didn't become

......

no solutions.

i wanted to try

i was willing to fight for this

you wanted a way out

you never cared as much as me

......

all the tales we tell.

incapable of facing the painful reality

of a love that's been lost

we lie in the form of false memories

re-creating disaster and chaos

into beautiful moments

that never happened

......

sick day.

give your soul a break

if you're tired of being hurt

just rest awhile

......

March 17th IV.

you're always trying

but who tries for you

you're always fighting

but who fights for you

i hate this idea of everything 

falling upon the shoulders 

of a woman 

while she's in a relationship 

with a man who makes no effort

i hate this idea of a woman 

feeling alone while being

in a relationship

......

cost of communication.

know your worth

and never communicate

reply or respond to anyone

who can't afford to speak to you

or with you

......

8:32.

too often the heart

finds a way to love

the ones who will never

love it back

......

a void.

i felt like a bookstore

with no books on its shelves

a profound emptiness

in my soul

......

knowing you.

who are you when no one is watching

can i trust that person to remain loyal

without my watchful eyes

who are you when my back is turned

can i trust that person to be honest

in my absence

......

further from truth.

amazing isn't it

the way that every lie that gets told

contains just enough truth to seem believable 

but not enough truth to be true

......

ability.

she has the patience to stay

and the strength to move on

......

withdrawn but progressive.

i'm constantly evolving 

i just wish you were involved

and a part of this change

i've been doing this without you

but i'm fine

......

lower.

understand that a woman's love

is something that runs deep

if you're not ready and willing

to reach her depths

don't attempt the dive

don't waste her time

......

when together.

touch her in a way that no one

has done before

stimulate her entire mind

with an abundance of words

and leave an imprint upon her soul

create a long-lasting memory

and become something she'll

never forget

a lasting impression is what 

you should always aim for

appreciate all that she is

and all that she's willing to offer

it's what she deserves

......

to the root.

and they wonder why

you have trust issues

or act as if you don't 

give a fuck

the way you are

the way you love

is a product

of being taken

for granted

......

finis.

it all falls on me

the weight of it all

crushing my spirit

like bone melting iron

i'm breaking down

collapsing completely into

myself

until there's nothing left

but regret

of trying so hard

for someone who couldn't 

try for me

i'm done

......

i feel both entirely.

i am both happy and sad

i feel weak but i am strong

i am broken but i'll be whole

there is hope within pain

there is hope after heartache

and i've felt both of everything

i know that it gets better

......

a refusal, a strength.

i'm finding more of myself

in my journey towards peace

learning to let go of the anger

that once plagued my soul

and altered the direction

of most of my days

i'm finding my voice

beneath the heaviness

of the pain that once caused me

to shut down

refusing to remain silent

about the things that broke me

i refuse to be a prisoner of heartache

......

clarity in mourning.

i tried

you didn't

i loved 

you refused

it was me

and never you

it was you

not wanting me

stuck, searching for you

when all i needed was myself

......

from it, stronger.

the pain will bring you strength

the heartache will give you purpose

......

become it.

the only one worthy of you

is you

in this moment

you only need yourself

become the love

that they refused to share with you

......

read, lover.

books stained with the tears

of the reader with the broken heart

books held tight

like lovers in the dark

sometimes all you have are the words

sometimes all that's left

are the books

......

strangers again, again.

we started as strangers

we ended that way

sometimes the beginning

is the same as the ending

......

potion.

she refused to be anyone's cup of tea

she was more so the finest glass of whiskey

......

January 7th, 8:49p.m.

before i get the chance

to place my hands on your skin

i'd first like the opportunity

for our souls to collide

our minds to be fully stimulated

and our hearts to be in sync

this is the way i'd like to love you

......

January 10th.

this craving to explore

the unfamiliar places within you

has overtaken my mind

i'd like to get lost in you

i'd like the opportunity

to make you feel things

you've never felt for anyone else

......

the slow burning of regret.

i hope the memory of me

burns through your mind

and in times of desperation

i hope you reach for me

then realize that i can no longer

be found

you'll feel what i felt

you'll sit with your face

in your hands

and your heart on the floor

because you lost the greatest thing

to ever happen to you
me...

......

steel curtain.
protect your energy
understand that not everyone
who wants you
deserves you

protect your peace of mind
understand that most people
don't even deserve to be a thought

......

higher up.
you belong to the night
next to the brightest stars
in sync with the moon
above the earth

......

our ending, new beginnings.
i'll be the one
you couldn't keep
i'll be the memory
that hurts the most
i'll be the greatest loss
in your life
i'll be the one
you'll never be able
to come back to

all because i love me more
than you ever could

......

never, nowhere.
if you missed me
you'd show up
if you missed me
you'd be here

......

more than stars.
while the stars
compete for the moon's attention
she is the only light
that i search for in darkness

......

6:29:10.
my mind
a museum of madness
my heart
a museum of pain

'Act Like A Success Think Like A Success', Steve Harvey

Rating: 7.5/10

Overall Thoughts

We all may know Steve Harvey as a comedian or the host of Family Feud and Little Big Shots.  He has achieved a lot in his lifetime and earned his very own Star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  What most of us don't know is the struggle and setbacks that he had to face and encounter in order to be where he is today.

In 'Act Like a Success Think Like a Success', Steve Harvey shares his personal experiences and failures in life.  He offers words of encouragement to readers to embrace and harness your personal gift as a stepping stone to transforming your life.  While most of the advise and information being provided in this book is not relatively new, it does put everything into perspective.  By the end of this book, you will be inspired and motivated.


Brief Summary of 'Act Like a Success Think Like a Success'

Chapter 1: "I'm Tired of Myself"

• Stop making excuses.  Be honest with yourself.  Stop comparing yourself to others.  
• We become our own opposition when we accept the following: procrastinating, lying to ourselves, comparing ourselves to others, and having self-doubts - in short, anything that gets in the way of becoming who we were created to be.  
• Practice learning how to speak about success with experts who are fluent in the language of success.  
• You can clearly see your dream, but you are wasting time overthinking the unknown or talking to people who don't understand your aspirations.  

Chapter 2: Fear and Failure

• When you face your fears, they aren't as big as you thought they were.  What makes them big is when you don't turn around to face them head-on.  The longer you avoid your fears, the bigger they grow in your mind.  
• You have to learn to convince yourself that the possibility is greater than the inevitability of doing nothing.  
• Failure is part of the process when you are on the road to success.  The only way to get back on track is to come up with another plan.  
• Employers wants someone who is experienced with failure, has learned from it, and can get the job done.  Failure is not here to defeat you, but to give you the power to gain those life experiences that you can come back to and learn from again and again.  
• The key to our opportunities lies in our decisions.  In order to get the opportunities you want, you have to make the decision to change.  

Chapter 3: Take the Lid Off the Jar

• Don't get caught in that trap of comparing yourself to someone else.  Release yourself from excuses and limitations.  

Chapter 4: The Dash Between Perishing and Sacrificing for Your Dream

• Any negative trait that derails you from your dreams will not get the job done.  Negativity can never be the fuel that drives your gift.  
• If you are the smartest person in the group, you need to get a new group.  You cannot be a person who knows it all and can't be told anything, because it will stifle your creativity as well as the creativity around you.  
• When you are really living in your gift, you just know it.  When you are doing what you are meant to be doing, you can just feel it.  When the right opportunity comes along, you won't have to force it.  
• We think that motivation comes from somewhere else, but our greatest motivation is inside of us.  The only difference between successful and unsuccessful people is that successful people know what their gift is and how to focus on it at all costs.  

Chapter 5: Not What You Are Paid For, but What You Were Made For

• Your gift is not your talents.  Talents can be learned while a gift is inherent.  

Chapter 6: Knowing Your Gift and Putting It into the Right Vehicle

• Once you uncover your gift, find that distinctive touch that will make your gift stand out and shine.  
• Don't ever be afraid to put yourself in a position so that you can learn something from someone who knows more.  No one can teach you more than someone who has already been there.  

Chapter 7: Understanding the Makeup of You

• Be the kind of person who attracts rather than repels others.  You have to be easy to work with, or at least be willing to create the atmosphere that makes it easy to work with you.  
• Recognize your shortcomings and be willing to improve on them.  
• Be a person of integrity.  Be honorable and reliable by doing what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it.  
• Learn how to be open.  

Chapter 8: Climbing the Mountain to Reach Your Dreams

• Goals are the key ingredient that helps us stay focused, consistent, and diligent on our path to achieving our dreams.  
• Make big goals, but don't make them so far outside your comfort zone that you set yourself up for failure.  
• Your goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-sensitive.  

Chapter 9: You Have to See It to Believe It

• Identify what you want to accomplish.  Create a vision board to make sure it motivates and inspires you to achieve your dreams.  

Chapter 10: Man on a Rope

• God has already lined up all the people in your path to get you to your dreams and your visions; all you have to do is get rid of the wrong ones.  
• When you choose someone to model, they should have a track record of success.  The role model should show a commitment to providing direction to others.  
• Let go of people who are only around for their personal benefit.  
• Avoid people who are always having a bad day.  In their minds, nothing ever works in their favor.  This kind of negativity depletes enthusiasm.  
• Distance yourself from those who have to be right all the time.  
• Procrastinators will weigh you down.  Action is the prescription for moving forward.  Procrastinators are going nowhere.  Do not let them impede your journey to success.  
• You should be living your life surrounded by people who are like-minded, service-oriented, and grateful, people who are trying to accomplish things, and who bring something to the table.  

Chapter 11: There Is No Self-Made Man

• Keep your eyes open for like-minded people, for others who are on the same wavelength as you.  
• Asking for what you want gives you a better chance of getting it than not asking.  
• There is no shame in not knowing something, in not having something, or in wanting or needing something.  So much of what will determine the difference between a good life and a great life is an ask away.  
• 6 principles to help you get what you want: (1) know your worth; (2) recognize what you deserve; (3) get specific; (4) don't assume anything; (5) communicate your values; (6) recognize that "no" is not a rejection.  

Chapter 12: Tale of the Tape

• Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is important because you need to learn how to maximize your wins and minimize your losses.  
• Manage your strengths and improve your weaknesses.  
• If you don't develop other strengths, your enemies will always know what choices you will make.  Switch things up, learn and master other skills, and apply them strategically so that you can stay ahead of the marketplace and your industry.  
• Weaknesses are only a detriment if you allow them to be.  Create partnerships with people whose strength is your weakness.  Learn from them and build that area so that you can grow stronger.  

Chapter 13: Never Be Afraid to Reinvent Yourself

• Change comes in every person's life.  You can either react to it or you can participate in it.  The more willing you are to accept change and to be a part of change, the more successful you will become.  
• We cannot allow small-mindedness to interfere with our rewards.  Step outside your comfort zone and try something new, something adventuresome, when utilizing your gift.  

Chapter 14: The Power of No

• Being able to say no will help you become confident in setting personal standards, as well as being comfortable setting boundaries, both of which are critical in your journey towards success.  
• Saying no allows you to use your gift and power in the right place at the right time for the right purpose.  Stop giving your gift to those who want to use you for the development of their legacy, at the cost of yours.  

Chapter 15: Healing Your Haters Through Success

• A hater's goal is to impede your progress, and the moment you stop to address them, you have helped them accomplish it.  You cannot afford to spend a single day engaging with that kind of energy.  
• The opposition has no power over you, unless you give it to them.  
• Negativity can show up as any pessimistic, critical, or harmful energy that takes you off your path toward success.  If you are not careful, not only will that negative energy take you off track, but it will in fact consume you.  

Chapter 16: Life's Magical Balance

• Home + Health + Finances = Success

Chapter 17: God Blesses You to Become a Blesser

• The more people you help become successful, the more successful you become.  We are all here to help one another.  
• When you understand how powerful giving is, you will have more to give.  
• Become one of those people who are willing to share, educate, gift, help, inspire, lead and push. 

'Sad Girls', Lang Leav

Rating: 6/10

Overall Thoughts

Having read all of Lang Leav's previous works, I was exceptionally excited to get my hands on a copy of her first novel.  When I heard that the title was going to be 'Sad Girls', my first impression was that the novel is going to be dark, tragic and emotional.  Well, needless to say, I was wrong about the dark and tragic part.  Just like every other teenage novel, 'Sad Girls' is essentially about a girl (Audrey) falling deeply in love with a boy (Rad) whom she knows is wrong for her but being a stubborn teenager like we all once were, she can't seem to be apart from him.  

The story revolves around a lie that Audrey told which led to Ana's death.  The lie soon became a weight on her shoulders that was too heavy for her to carry and Audrey started having panic attacks.  Despite having a loving boyfriend (Duck) who saved her life and is basically perfect in terms of having a goal and vision in life, Audrey finds herself attracted to Rad who turns out to be *drumroll* the dead girl's boyfriend.  

Whilst the novel may not be Lang Leav's best work, it is well-written and an easy read.  The most interesting part would be the unexpected twist at the last twenty pages of the book.  

Favourite Quotes from 'Sad Girls'

"Black is a shade - one that holds its presence in every gradation of gray, departing only with its transition into white.  I have always thought of white as a clean slate, an unwritten page.  A snow-covered field or a wedding dress.  White is starting over, an absolution from your sins.  That day, I was the furthest away from white that I could possibly be." 

"A flash of guilt opened me up like a fresh, gaping wound."  

"His voice was like a lullaby, and I could feel my eyelids growing heavy."  

"Your first love isn't the first person you give your heart to - it's the first one who breaks it."  

"Once you cross over, you can't go back.  It never goes away completely.  You just get better at dealing with it."  

"Then just as swiftly as he appeared in my life, he was gone."  

"I stood there for a long time in the dying light, a dull thudding in my chest and the feeling I was more alone than I had ever been."  

"He looked as though he wanted to kiss me, and I was readying myself.  But then he looked away, and the spell was broken." 

"I used to think people were like lighthouses.  That they were there to protect you.  But they're not.  People are like whirlpools.  They pull you in; they drag you under.  You have to work so hard just to keep your head above water."  

'Midnight Monologues: Poems and Short Stories', Charissa Ong T.Y.

Rating: 7/10

Overall Thoughts

Categorized into four parts: Lost, Found, Hope, and Short Stories, 'Midnight Monologues' is a book that majority of us can and will relate to at some point in our lives, especially if you are currently going though a break up.  

Being in her twenties, the author is unquestionably gifted to be able to write so effortlessly and with such poetic melody.  Extra brownie points for being a Malaysian.  

Perfect read during a rainy day with a cup of coffee (or tea).  

Favourites from 'Lost'

"I never understood the gravity of the problem, 

Until you fell for another solution."

......

"Leave me alone; I need to think about us.  

Leave me alone; I need to think.  

Leave me alone.  

Leave me.  

Leave."

......

"Your taste in men had me salty, 

And the salt of my tears, mixes with the bitterness of reality.  

Your quickness of loving another had me bitter, 

Well, clearly I should have known better.  

My many lonely hours had me sour, 

And the things I did to forget you, 

I couldn't feel any lower.  

However, 

Every night before my mind falls asleep, 

My eyes recognize your colors once more - 

My tongue remembers the sweetness of your lips, 

As I relished what's left of what we had before." 

......

'They told her that they were not worth her perfection, 

And that she should search for a mind that matches her own, 

With that on every man's thoughts and reflections, 

The imperfectly perfect girl was left perfectly alone."  

......

"So, have you worked it out yet?"

"We are definitely on the same page, 

if only we were holding the same books." 

......

"Liking him is never tough, 

It isn't hard when he has his laugh.  

She'll see him again tonight at dinner, 

Anything, 

To see his smile again on this stranger.  

And she'd think that this love would never die, 

When all she loves are his familiar eyes.  

"He's just my type," she lies to her family members, 

For there was no type but t'was a man that he resembles.  

She knew he was the closest that she could get, 

To the man she could never forget.  

"He would never be him," she broods, 

With a sigh, "But I guess he'll do." " 

Favourites from 'Found'

"Looking through the windows of my soul was unsatisfactory, 

So you bulldozed the walls I've built to keep you out, 

Indefinitely.  

You burrowed into my life with curiosity and caution, 

And found my most valuable possession, my devotion." 

......

The truth in you eyes conquered every single lie in mine." 

......

"Hold my face in your hands - 

and tell me that you love me, 

And I'll hold your world in mine, 

ridding its risk of ever crumbling.  

Favourites from 'Hope'

"Love 

For 

Trouble 

Causes 

Hate

- 

Hate

Causes

Trouble 

For

Love"

......

"Improve," breathes my inner voice; 

"Be the chooser, and never the choice." 

......

"Sharp minds deflate impossible egos."

......

"I will engulf you with a light so bright, 

you will never know your shadow again."

......

"There are those who love themselves and only themselves, 

And then there are those who love everyone else but themselves.  

With one so selfish and the other so helpless, 

I am sure there is a way to solve this imbalance.  

These two could learn a lot from each other, 

If one deposits love and one humbles the other, 

This world would finally have a proud human race, 

If we only knew where to love in the first place."  

'The Kite Runner', Khaled Hosseini

Rating: 8.5/10

Overall Thoughts

A story about friendship, family, sacrifice, betrayal, guilt and redemption.  'The Kite Runner' is being told against the background of the fall of the Afghanistan government to the Soviet Union, and the rise of the Taliban regime.

This novel revolves around a wealthy boy named Amir who betrays his closest friend Hassan, who happens to be the son of his father's servant.  When the Russians invaded Afghanistan, Amir and his father moved to the United States.  However, some unfinished business ultimately draws adult Amir back to his home country, where he tries to right past wrongs against the only true friend he ever had.

Intense.  Emotional.  Beautifully written.  Filled with plot twists.

Khaled Hosseini definitely has a way with words.  

Worth staying up a whole night reading.

Favourite Quotes from 'The Kite Runner;

"Children aren't coloring books.  You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."  

"...better to get hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie."

"For you, a thousand times over."

"But all I heard - all I willed myself to hear - was the thudding of blood in my ear.  All I saw was the blue kite.  All I smelled was victory.  Salvation.  Redemption."  

"...when he was around, the oxygen seeped out of the room.  My chest tightened and I couldn't draw enough air; I'd stand there, gasping in my own little airless bubble of atmosphere.  But even when he wasn't around, he was ... Everywhere I turned, I saw signs of his loyalty, his goddamn unwavering loyalty."  

"He knew I had betrayed him and yet he was rescuing me once again, maybe for the last time.  I loved him in that moment, loved him more than I'd ever loved anyone, and I wanted to tell them all that I was the snake in the grass, the monster in the lake.  I wasn't worthy of this sacrifice; I was a liar, a cheat, and a thief." 

"Do you have to always be the hero?  I thought, my heart fluttering.  Can't you just let it go for once?  But I knew he couldn't - it wasn't in his nature.  The problem was, his nature was going to get us all killed."

"After everything he'd built, planned, fought for, fretted over, dreamed of, this was the summation of his life: one disappointing son and two suitcases."

"I'd been gone long enough to forget and to be forgotten ... I thought I had forgotten about this land.  But I hadn't.  And, under the bony glow of a half-moon, I sensed Afghanistan humming under my feet.  Maybe Afghanistan hadn't forgotten me either."  

"I want to tear myself from this place, from this reality, rise up like a cloud and float away, melt into this humid summer night and dissolve somewhere far, over the hills."  

"Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons."  

"... I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."  

"It was only a smile, nothing more.  It didn't make everything all right.  It didn't make anything all right.  Only a smile.  A tiny thing.  A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight.  But I'll take it.  With open arms.  Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting."  

'Memoirs of A Geisha', Arthur Golden

Rating: 7.5/10

Overall Thoughts

Beautifully written novel which brilliantly reveals Japan's culture and traditions, and transports readers into a largely vanished world.  

The story is written in the perspective of a young gray-eyed girl named Chiyo who was sold to a geisha house (okiya) in the Gion district by her financially desperate father.  Hatsumomo, the okiya's star geisha, felt threatened by Chiyo's beauty and treated her with indespicable cruelty.  After her failed attempt at running away, Chiyo's geisha training came to a halt, and she had to become a maid instead to pay off her debts.

Feeling hopeless at her chances of ever becoming a geisha, a second chance arose when Chiyo was taken under the wing of Mameha, a well-known geisha who was a prime rival of Hatsumomo's.  With Mameha's guidance, Chiyo transformed into Sayuri, one of the most prominent geisha in Kyoto.

Despite having many admirers who would offer to be her danna (patron), Sayuri secretly yearns for an unattainable man known as the Chairman.  Realizing that her own happiness matters, she goes against everything geishas are taught, and made it her goal to win over the Chairman.

Favourite Quotes from 'Memoirs of A Geisha'

"It seemed to me the world itself was feeling just as I felt.  Was life nothing more than a storm that constantly washed away what had been there only a moment before, and left behind something barren and unrecognizable?"

"She looked like the demon she was, but even so, I was sick with jealousy and shame."

"Anything that made life more difficult for me only strengthened my determination to run away."

"This is why dreams can be such dangerous things: they smolder on like a fire does, and sometimes they consume us completely."  

"Adversity is like a strong wind.  I don't mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go.  It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be."

"Grief is a most peculiar thing; we're so helpless in the face of it.  It's like a window that will simply open of its own accord.  The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver.  But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it."  

"A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.  Two men are equals - true equals - only when they both have equal confidence."  

"To see him again after so long awakened something desperate inside of me."

"I don't know when we'll see each other again or what the world will be like when we do.  We may both have seen many horrible things.  But I will think of you every time I need to be reminded that there is beauty and goodness in the world."

"We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course."  

"The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none.  No hopes.  Nothing remains."

"But now I know that our world is no more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean.  Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper."

"I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privileged to live their lives with an actual demon, so long as it was a beautiful demon."  

'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People', Stephen R. Covey

Rating: 9/10

Overall Thoughts

Being an individual who constantly strives to be a better version of myself each day, I was looking for a book which could motivate me and help me gain further insight on how to be more productive and organized on a daily basis.  Reading this book made me realize that physical and mental developments alone will not be sufficient if the spiritual and emotional aspects are being neglected.

The basic ideas being conveyed in this book are that real change happens from the inside out, that we should center our lives on correct principles which will empower us to be better individuals.   If we want to make significant changes, we should work on the way we perceive, understand, and interpret situations.  Stephen Covey highlighted that majority of us aspire to be more independent, to be able to achieve what we want through personal efforts; however, we should aim to become interdependent, that is, to combine our personal efforts with the efforts of others to accomplish greater success.

The Seven Habits are easy to understand given the inclusion of several personal life illustrations by Stephen Covey, albeit the Habits alone may be a little difficult to apply in practice.  Nevertheless, this book is an excellent read which will enable you to reflect and make positive changes in your personal and professional lives.

Summary of 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People'

Habit 1: Be Proactive

• Take initiative.  Many people wait for something to happen or someone to take care of them, but people who end up with the good jobs are the proactive ones who are solutions to problems, not problems themselves.  
• Proactive people focus their efforts on things they can do something about (Circle of Influence).  In contrast, reactive people focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control (Circle of Concern).  The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could not do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.  
• The proactive approach is to change from the inside-out: to be different, and by being different, to effect positive change in what's out there.  
• Stop looking at your problems or concerns in terms of "If only I have... If only I had...", instead, start focusing on "I can be...".  
• The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it.  This literally turns a failure into a success.  But not to acknowledge a mistake, not to correct it and learn from it puts a person on a self-deceiving, self-justifying path, often involving rationalization (rational lies) to self and to others.   
• Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation.  It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue.  The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing.  

Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind

• This Habit basically means to start with a clear understanding of your destination, to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.     
• Have a Personal Mission Statement - Visions and values which direct your life.  This will form the basic direction from which you set your long and short-term goals.  It should be personal, positive, in present tense, visual, and emotional.  
• More often that not, a person's center comprises of a combination of other centers such as spouse, family, money, work, possession, pleasure, friend, enemy, church or self.  As a person fluctuates from on center to another, this results in an inconsistent sense of direction, no persistent wisdom, no steady power supply or sense of personal, intrinsic worth and identity.  
• The ideal is to have a principle-center from which we can create a solid foundation for development of the four life-support factors (security, guidance, wisdom, power), empowering our proactivity and giving harmony to every part of our lives.  

Habit 3: Put First Things First

• Distinguish between urgent and important matters.  Important matters contribute to your mission, your values, your high priority goals.  If we don't have a clear idea of what is important, we are easily diverted into responding to the urgent.  
• Decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage to say "no" to other things.  
• Management follows leadership.  The way you spend your time is a result of the way you see your time and the way you really see your priorities.  
• The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.  
• Make a list of responsibilities you could delegate and the people you could delegate to or train to be responsible in these areas.  
• Organize your roles and goals on a weekly basis.  

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

• Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person's success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.  It involves mutual learning, mutual influence, mutual benefits.  
• If you can't reach a true Win/Win, you're very often better off to go for No Deal.  This means that if we can't find a solution that would benefit us both, we agree to disagree agreeably.  However, this might not be a viable option in a continuing business relationship.    
• The essence of principled negotiation is to separate the person from the problem, to focus on interests and not on positions, to invent options for mutual gain, and to insist on objective criteria - some external standard of principle that both parties can buy into.  

1. See the problem from the other party's point of view.  Really seek to understand and to give expression to the needs and concerns of the other party as well as or better than they can themselves.  
2. Identify the key issues and concerns (not positions) involved.  
3. Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.  
4. Identify possible new options to achieve those results.  

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

• Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.  They're either speaking or preparing to speak.  
• Emphatic listening involves getting inside another person's frame of reference.  Its essence is to fully, deeply, understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually.  
• When listening to others, avoid evaluating (agreeing or disagreeing), probing (asking questions from a personal frame of reference), advising (giving counsel based on personal experience), and interpreting (trying to figure people out, explain their motives, their behavior, based on personal motives and behavior).  
• Don't push; be patient; be respectful.  People don't have to open up verbally before you can empathize.  You can be discerning, sensitive, and aware.  
• When you can present your own ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and most important, contextually - in the context of other people's paradigms and concerns - you significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.  

Habit 6: Synergize

• The essence of synergy is to value differences - to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses.  The key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.  
• When you communicate synergistically, you begin with the belief that parties involved will gain more insight, and that the excitement of that mutual learning and insight will create a momentum towards more and more insights, learnings, and growth.  
• The more genuine the involvement, the more sincere and sustained the participation in analyzing and solving problems, the greater the release of everyone's creativity, and of their commitment to what they create.  
• You can be synergistic within yourself even in the midst of a very adversarial environment.  You don't have to take insults personally.  You can sidestep negative energy; you can look for the good in others and utilize that good to improve your point of view and to enlarge your perspective.  
• When you see only two alternatives - yours and the "wrong" one - you can look for a synergistic third alternative.  There is always a third alternative, and if you work with a Win/Win philosophy and really seek to understand, you usually can find a solution that will be better for everyone concerned.  

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

• This means exercising all four dimensions of our nature - physical, social/emotional, mental, spiritual - regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways.  
• Physical dimension: Eating the right kinds of foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising on a regular basis.  
• Spiritual dimension: This draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to the timeless truths of all humanity,  Immersion in great literature or great music can provide a similar renewal of the spirit for some people.  
• Mental dimension: Continuing education, continually honing and expanding the mind, is vital mental renewal.  Keeping a journal of our thoughts, experiences, insights, and learnings promote mental clarity, exactness, and context.  Organizing and planning represent other forms of mental renewal associated with Habits 2 and 3.  
• Social/emotional dimension: This centers on the principles of interpersonal relationship, emphatic communication, and creative cooperation.  
• Organizational as well as individual effectiveness requires development and renewal of all four dimensions in a wise and balanced way.  Any dimension that is neglected will create negative force field resistance that pushes against effectiveness and growth.  

Note: If you're confused on the concepts or application of these Seven Habits, I assure you that everything will fall into perspective once you've read the whole book.